“Hey, Sloane.” Hearing his casual response made me even angrier than I already was.
“Hey? Is that all you have to say?” I imitated his tone mocking him.
“Sloane I’m sor-” I cut him off before he could even finish.
“No! Don’t even say that shit because you don’t mean it. You had your time to speak and you obviously said what you needed to say so now I’m gonna talk and you’re going to listen.” My tone was strict.
I was angry. Scratch that I was livid. I know we had broken up but he came back and we had sex. That should have put us back on track instead he was on the radio declaring us as done. I was not accepting that. I truly loved Trey and I would do whatever I had to do to salvage our relationship. Hearing him sigh I began speaking once more.
“So after we slept together I wake up alone to hear that our relationship is torn and we’re not right for each other. Is that so Tremaine? Who are you to tell me what’s right and wrong for me? I know our relationship has been a little rocky these past few months but I’m trying to make this work and I feel like you’re giving up on it. We’ve had arguments before, broken up and gotten back together so what makes this time so different?” I wanted to know.
“Sloane we can’t go on the way we’ve been going on. We keep breaking up and making up. We can’t just love each other one day and hate each other the next. I really meant everything I said today. I’m sorry you had to hear it this way instead of face to face but we can’t keep doing this. If we continue on like this we’re going to end up hating and regretting each other.” Hearing those words made my heart break even more than it already was. I looked up at the ceiling trying to stop the tears but it was no use.
“Sloane, please don’t.” Trey begged. I sat there sobbing and I felt like an idiot for it. Right now I felt like no one could relate to what I was going through. Not even Trey. Here I was crying and I felt like I wasn’t getting any emotion out of him.
“Where the fuck are your emotions now? You’re usually so quick to react to shit yet you seem pretty calm about this? Has a weight been lifted off your shoulder now that were done? I bet you’re just waiting to get off the phone with me so you can fuck some other bitch. Is there another bitch, Trey?” I yelled out of anger.
“This is exactly what the fuck I’m talking about Sloane. Here you go with this jealousy shit sounding real fucking stupid. If I wanted to cheat I would’ve fucking cheated a long time ago. I’m actually surprised I ain’t step out on your ass while we were together.” My breath caught in my throat when that last statement left his lips. I couldn’t believe he had said that.
“I didn’t mean that.” He apologized.
“Oh really? Remember when you said we were destined to be together. You said it to me and I wish you hadn’t, because you didn’t mean any of it. I gave you my heart Trey. That’s all I can give to you, and if that’s not enough for you, then I’m not enough for you.”I spat through my sobbing before hanging up. I should have told him to fuck off but instead I cared. I just wanted him back in my arms so badly that I couldn’t help but break down.
“This is exactly what the fuck I’m talking about Sloane. Here you go with this jealousy shit sounding real fucking stupid. If I wanted to cheat I would’ve fucking cheated a long time ago. I’m actually surprised I ain’t step out on your ass while we were together.”
As soon as those words left my mouth I instantly regretted them. I truly didn’t mean it but Sloane knew how to push my buttons. She knew exactly what she was doing. She wanted emotion out of me and that’s exactly what she was getting. It just so happen she wasn’t getting the emotion she wanted. Just because I wasn’t crying about it didn’t mean I wasn’t hurting. Sloane had been there for me. Before becoming a girlfriend Sloane was a really good friend to me. People didn’t know but we had been dating longer than nine months. We were just nine months to the public’s eyes but Sloane had been holding me down a little over a year. She had wanted to stay out of the spotlight which I kinda respected because some girls would have jumped at the opportunity to attach themselves to the name Trey Songz.
Sloane hung up and I just looked at the phone in disbelief for a second before putting it in my pocket. Running my hands over my face I let out a sigh. This was fuckery. This is not the way I pictured everything happening between us. I mean I knew she wasn’t going to be happy but did it really need to go this far. I was saying things I didn’t mean and causing her to hurt. We both were hurt but it was obvious who was hurting more. Sloane just needed to look at the ending of this relationship as something positive. It wasn’t healthy for us. We needed to work on us before we could even think of being friends or possibly getting together again. Right now we were a beautiful disaster. I’d give us some time. Hearing another voice I looked up to see Michael walking down the hallway on the phone. He hung up and looked at me.
“You mentioned a song well I got us some studio time tomorrow with Troy. Be there at 11. I want some gold so make sure you bring it.”
“Gotcha Michael. Can we get outta here?” Michael nodded.
Rounding the rest of the team up we headed to the car and drove back over to our styling building. As we drove gears were turning in my head. I was itching to write. Even though these emotions were ones I didn’t want to deal with I know they were going to help with my writing. When we reached the parking lot I couldn’t hop out the car quicker. “See you tomorrow Michael.” I got into my Range and headed home. It took me no time to get there. Parking my car I got out my car and entered the building. I practically sprinted over to the elevator and got in. Arriving to my penthouse I entered. I hadn’t been here since the whole incident with Renee. Walking around I inspected the house, taking note that Renee had straightened up. There were no dishes in the sink from our dinner and my bed was well made. That made me wonder if she slept in it or not. The incident began to play itself in my head. The kiss. The slap. The rejection. As much as I hated it going through my head I was glad it was because it would help me do what I wanted and needed to do: write.
тнε nεхт мornιng
My eyes slowly opened taking their time to adjust to the light coming through the windows. ‘What time is it?’ I thought. Looking around my eyes stopped on the clock. It was 9:30am. Michael wanted me to meet him at 11 for our studio session. That gave me an hour and a half to get ready. That was perfect. Getting up I immediately threw my hands above my head and stretched. I wish I had fallen asleep in my bed rather than my couch. Looking down to the couch I picked up my blackberry and began going through it. I had come up with some really good music last night. Finding my charger I placed my phone on the charger and then decide to shoot a text.
We need to talk.
Pressing send I placed my phone down and began to walk off but it vibrated. I figured it was Renee since I had texted her a second ago. If she had replied that quickly then that meant she wasn’t mad at me, right? Looking at her response I frowned. She was one wording me which probably meant she was pissed.
The other night.
No need. I’m not worrying about it or you.
‘Shit.’ It looks like she took my words yesterday morning to heart. Words I had said when I was angry. It seem like anger was really causing me to hurt the people I cared about. I knew there was no point in arguing with her. So I shot one last text to her hoping she accepted it.
Just give me the chance to apologize to you face to face.
Meet me at 485 Broadway at 11.
Pressing send I began getting ready for the day I had ahead of me. I had gotten dressed in a pair of jeans, and a black hoodie, and was now sitting inside my kitchen finishing the last of my breakfast which consisted of a bowl of cereal. I didn’t wanna take the time to make actual food and have the risk of running late. Besides I was anxious to get inside the studio. Walking over to my phone I noticed Renee hadn’t text me back. At least I could say I tried. Grabbing my phone and keys I headed out.
About thirty minutes later my car was sitting outside the studio. Surprisingly I had found a parking spot. That was rare in Soho. Pulling my hoodie onto my head I got out the car and quickly dashed inside the studio. As much as I loved my fans I didn’t want to get mobbed by them now, especially without any security detail. That wouldn’t have been a pretty picture. Entering the studio I greeted Mickey and Troy. “You ready?” Troy asked. I nodded. ‘I’m always ready.’
And baby when it’s love if it’s not rough it’s not fun.
Lady Gaga’s Poker Face was playing through my headphones as I finished up my workout. A few minutes later the treadmill had come to a stop. I had just finished running 5 miles which means my workout was completed. I had been in the gym for a little more than an hour. Looking down at my iPhone I took note of the time: 9:30AM. Walking over to the supplies I grabbed some paper towel along with disinfectant and wiped the treadmill down. I took a long and well needed drink from my water bottle. Passing the front desk I waved at the attendant and he gave me a wink. I walked down the hallway and made my way towards the elevator when my phone indicated I had a text message. It was from Trey. I was surprised he was texting me. Reading his text I replied without hesitation I replied.
We need to talk
The other night.
I looked at the screen in disbelief before I scoffed. Was he serious? Talk? When I wanted to talk he didn’t want to return my calls and then had the nerve to have an attitude this morning. His words replayed themselves in my head. ‘Don’t worry about me Renee. I’m a grown man. I’m good.’ “You can stay good.” I mumbled as I got off the elevator and made my way to my apartment.
No need. I’m not worrying about it or you.
‘Let’s see how he likes that one.’ I thought. Now the shoe was on the other foot. I was using his words against him. Entering my apartment I headed straight for my bathroom. Placing my phone down on the edge of the tub I began running some hot water. I was in much need of a hot bath. I wasted no time removing my sweat drenched clothes leaving it in a pile on the tiled bathroom floor. Picking up my phone I looked at the text and rolled my eyes.
Just give me the chance to apologize to you face to face.
Meet me at 485 Broadway at 11.
‘Screw your apology.’ I thought as I placed my phone back down. Stopping the water I turned the jets on before sliding my body in the tub. This bath felt like everything. It was just what I needed.
“Your destination is on the left.” I rolled my eyes at my GPS. Pulling up to the studio I ran a hand through my curly afro. I don’t know what had possessed me to get dressed and actually come and meet Trey. Why did I care if he wanted to apologize? Why didn’t I let him come to me? I sighed as I got more frustrated with myself. Maybe I should just drive back home. I mean it’s not like he was probably still expecting me. It was almost twelve ‘o clock in the afternoon. Shaking my head I drove around before finding a parking spot. I had driven all this way I might as well listen to his apology. After he said what he needed to say I could dip. That sounded like a plan. Checking my face in my visor mirror I felt satisfied as I got out my car with my purse in hand. I was dressed rather simply. I had on a long sleeve black crew neck with a ruffled gray sweater. A plain pair of light blue skinny jeans topped off with some tall combat boots.
Entering the building I pulled out my phone.
It had been almost an hour since I got to the studio and we were hard at work. Troy had some sick beats which went with some of the material I had been writing. “Let’s do that ad lib over.” Troy nodded and before I knew it the beat was playing in my ears once again. Seeing my phone light up I glanced down at it. It briefly distracted me from what I was doing. I hadn’t realized it but a smile took over my features. ‘So she came. Thank god.’ Looking up I saw Michael and Troy glaring at me. It might have had something to do with the fact I stopped singing in the middle of our recording. “Can we take five?” I asked before either (mostly Michael) could complain. Michael let out a sigh and nodded. “Fine. Five minutes.” Removing the headphones and grabbing my phone I exited the recording booth before leaving the room. Arriving downstairs I saw Renee standing there, looking beautiful as usual. “Hey” I said as I approached her. “Hey.” She responded giving me a small smile.
“Let’s go somewhere a lot less in the open.” I didn’t want all of my business out there. She nodded and we walked off in the direction of the staircase. Opening the door we strolled up to the second floor before I stopped and turned around and looked at her. Here goes nothing.
“The other night I didn’t want to have sex with you.” ‘False.’ “I mean it would have been nice and everything but I was drunk. A pretty woman and liquor make a nigga like me horny, my bad.” I laughed trying to ease the mood between us. “When I said I would be good I meant I’d be good to you, not good in bed. I wanted some female company. I just wanted somebody to hold that night and wake up with in the morning. I mean Sloane and I had broken up earlier that morning and it had been on my mind. You’re different and were tempting at the moment. I shouldn’t have come on to you, and I can’t apologize to you enough. Trying to mix business with pleasure was a mistake. I’m fine with just being business partners if you are. Clean slate?” Renee chuckled and I gave her a raised eyebrow. Why was she laughing?
“I just feel like some love struck teenager in high school. You’re apologizing to me in a staircase.” She laughed and I laughed along with her. “However, I accept your apology. Let’s just forget the other night happened and keep it moving.” I nodded at her. I didn’t know if I could do that but I’d try. Without thinking I spoke up once more. “Why don’t you stick around?” Reading her expression she looked a bit unsure but ultimately agreed. We exited the staircase and were now on the second floor on our way to the studio. As soon as I entered Michael started going off.
“Trey. I thought I to-” He stopped once he noticed Renee.
“Hi Michael. Sorry, I kept Trey so long. We had a situation on our hands but we’re all good now.”
“Good. Trey back to work.”
I got back in the recording booth and picked up from where we left off.
I had accepted Trey’s apology since I wasn’t one to hold grudges. He had explained him and Sloane’s situation which he didn’t need to. He was honest and I appreciated it. Besides we had to work together. There was no reason to have any weird vibes in the air. I was a bit hesitant to sit in on his studio time but I was going to make effort to get things back on track. Entering the room I noticed Michael ready to go off on Trey. I quickly interjected. “Hi Michael. Sorry, I kept Trey so long. We had a situation on our hands but were all good now.” It seemed as if Michael was content with my answer because he didn’t ask for further explanation. I greeted the other male in the room before taking a seat on the couch. I had never been to a studio recording so I was a bit excited.
“And nothing ever felt to so right ‘cause I never knew that a touch could taste and a kiss could feel so good. There’s nothing like your lips they taste like candy. Makes me want to work to make you happy. So please put it on. I love when it’s on and imma kiss you till it’s gone” Trey sung.
This song was the Trey I knew. There was no way I was going to sit here and not hear a song about sex and making love. Trey’s words sent chills up my spine as if he was whispering them directly into my ear. I thought ‘Have I ever worn red lipstick around Trey. Hmm maybe I should give it a try sometime this week.’ The song was turning me on. Everyone knew Trey was all about sex but my question was could he back up what he sang. Would he have lived up to expectations? I shook the idea out my head. No need for my mind to go to the gutter and have my panties looking like a sewer. The words to the song made my mind wander back to last night’s kiss. The kiss was amazing but I wouldn’t admit that to Trey. We agreed no mixing business with pleasure and I was going to stick to that.
“Ain’t no telling what we could have been. Ain’t telling what we could’ve been, oh. And if I knew it’d end like this. I never would have kissed ya, ‘cause I fell in love with ya. We never would’ve kicked it, girl now everything’s different. I lost my only lover and my friend that’s why I wished we never did it.”
‘Sloane.’ I thought. It was so obvious that song was about her. When he apologized he told me they had broken up and I knew they had been dating for about nine months. Being with someone for a while and then having to alter your relationship to do a complete 360 was hard especially when it went from being a lover to a friend or stranger. This was going to be a song everyone could relate too. This song showed that he obviously cared about her because if he didn’t he probably wouldn’t be concerned whether or not they could have some sort of relationship after their break up.
"I can’t let you go, I won’t let you leave. One that I know is baby you were made for me, for sure. My life is in your hands, I live to be your man. We’re made to be together so baby. No, don’t go. Girl if you don’t know, I give my heart; I give my soul, for sure. I’m right here on my knees, if you were to leave I’d lose my everything.”
Was he talking about Sloane? In his radio interview yesterday he admitted they weren’t together so did this song mean he wanted her back. These songs had me wanting to be inside Trey’s head. I wanted to know the writing process and the inspiration behind his music because it was really good. I was a very lucky girl. Here I was sitting in the recording studio listening to Trey Songz. It was my own mini concert and I had to admit I was enjoining it.
“You gave him your love, your love oh. Showed him something that he never had before but he didn’t want your love, your love no. So you starting over and you’re on your own but that ain’t so bad, baby you’re in luck ‘cause it just so happens that I’m looking for love. So why don’t we take a little time to see if it’s for real, to see if it’s right. You don’t need no money tonight you just need to rock with me tonight. Girl you don’t need no man tellin’ you that you can’t. You don’t need no one else baby’ cause here I am. You just need me girl, I know just what you need. I got just what you need, and I’ll give it to you. I want you to see girl I know just what you need. I got just what you need and I’ll give it to you. You just need me girl.”
I couldn’t help but notice Trey looking at me as he sung this song. His actions caused me to feel like I was being serenaded. ‘You Just Need Me’ made me wanna cry. The song was astonishing but it hit a soft spot with me. I hadn’t dated for a while but I wanted to. It was just hard putting myself back out there on the market. I was afraid to get hurt. The last guy that came around did some damage and I didn’t ever want to experience pain like that again. The song seemed to comfort me telling me that Trey could be the guy for me. He’d make me feel like a queen and not have to worry about getting hurt. A smile appeared on my lips as I could feel the effect his music was having on me. It was making me feel like a rollercoaster. Up then down and an occasional loop. Hearing Troy’s voice snapped me out my thoughts. It looked like Trey was done for the day. Glancing at the time I was surprised at how quickly time had flew by. I watched Trey get out the booth. Troy and Michael congratulated him on the songs and talked a bit of business. Once they were done I got up and approached him.
“Those songs were beautiful. Thank you for sharing them with me. Since you’ve kept me hostage I’m now starving. Let’s go back to my place and order in.” I suggested hoping he wouldn’t reject my offer.
“Sure, why not.” I smiled as he gathered his things and we headed out.